Building Your Cross

 No one wakes up one day and tells themselves... Hey! I should probably make something so difficult to bear that I'd have to carry it around for the rest of my life!

Sounds stupid right?

But is it?

When it starts out small, the thought of "pleasing others while sacrificing one's own needs" isn't so bad at all right?

In fact, it sounds downright noble and just.

But what happens when things go wrong and the sacrifice we've made goes unappreciated?

How do we protect ourselves from that?

Aha!

There's still a way to be validated and come out on top. And all we have to do is tell the truth, which isn't so bad either right?

But what for?

Why can't we let it go?

Why must we feel that somehow, justice should be served for this feeling of being unworthy?

Hmmm... is this where the veil of serving others meets the need to be self-serving?

Giving without expecting anything in return is truly unconditional.

But when we feel unreciprocated, what happens then?

Do we start feeling the need to be validated for the injustice?

And what happens when we don't talk to the person that hurt us, and instead tell others what happened?

What's the benefit of that?

Justice Served!

We can immediately feel the satisfaction of justice when playing the martyr.

But is this just another way of being codependent?

Being seen as the victim is at most times easier than confronting the person who wronged us.

But what happens when we can't let it go, or worse yet and can't forgive?

Because we still need to control our fears and be superior to any situation that threatens our self-worth right?

Maybe we can spot opportunities that makes us the victim and come out on top by being the martyr.

Over time the burdens we create, and carry begin to multiply and weigh us down till we can't move anymore.

And now what do we do?

Maybe we could have let it all go before getting this far down the road...

 

Aloha & Mahalo 🤙🏽